Sunday, May 29, 2011

Stuff I See Series - WTF

I see a lot of random things on my dog walks.  A lot.  Of REALLY random stuff.  There have literally been times that I stopped in my tracks and stood staring at some random thing or other trying to figure out any sort of answer to "WTF??"

I rarely figure out the answer.  But that's okay, 'cause it keeps life interesting when you don't know the answer to every WTF thing you happen across.

So here are some of the WTF things I've seen on some of my walks.  Some are cute, some are creepy, some are...well...WTF?

I love crazy people.  They have the BEST landscaping/decorating.

You probably can't see all that well in this crappy cel phone pic (and most of these will be crappy cel phone pics, get used to it, I don't carry a "real" camera with me while walking 90lb Rottweilers and the like, sorry) but those are mostly birdhouses decorating that lawn...a LOT of birdhouses.  I'm not sure that actual birds ever take up residence in any of them, but hey, this homeowner is certainly ready to pander to the flocks of evil Starlings that are coming to take over our world...should such a thing occur...

There is a very nice older man living here who, in appearance at least, somewhat reminds me of my grandfather. He doesn't seem to be terribly insane, so I'm guessing he's just REALLY bored all the time and sets up whatever random tchotchkes he finds wherever he thinks they might

This, by the way, is just one area...the ENTIRE house/yard is covered with random stuff.  And I DO mean random.  Entirely, unfathomably, oddly random.

This appeared on the street sign next to weird grandpa's house from the entry above one day.  It was up for a few days, the next week it was gone.  Perhaps he thought some passing stranger might like a really ugly sweater that only Bill Cosby in his heyday would fully have appreciated?

Yeah, I dunno, either....

Speaking of lots and lots of birdhouses....I think the birds might better appreciate the tree all those houses are cluttering up, but hey, whatever...

That is a whole bunch of umbrellas.

Why, yes, I did build my house to resemble a mausoluem, what of it?

Have a Holly Jolly Creepy Christmas!

This is a house in a very expensive neighborhood in Naples, Long Beach.  I would pass it during this past Christmas season walking the Rich Kids as I call them...five little dogs all belonging to VERY rich people.  Many of the houses in the area were well-decorated during the season and several were...oddly decorated, to say the least...but none quite reached this level of pure creeptastic Christmas weirdness.

Yes, those are more stuffed animals and dolls than I have seen in one place since my visit to the NYC store of FAO Schwartz when I was a kid.

"We welcome nose prints" reads the sign...yeah, 'cause the one thing I want to do is get CLOSER to all those creepy, staring, waiting dolls....uh, no thanks.

Do you see her?  The one in the left corner of the pic, there?  The one trying to figure out how to get the door open so she can escape her doll prison and wreak havoc on the world, starting with those two animatronic Christmas Caroler dolls she's been running over ways in her mind to sneak up behind and strangle?  Yeah, totally not the creepiest shit you ever saw in a Christmas decoration....

As long as we're in the creepy Christmas about a row of dead, deflated corpses to cheer your holiday?

I...I just don't even know...

Stairway to nowhere?  Or stairway to....HEEELLLLL!!!!???

Or maybe somebody just fucked up REALLY badly during construction?

I come across these little odd things that I'm sure a lot of people never even see.  I don't know if some kid left them out, or they're mid-Toy Story escapade and had to freeze when I happened along...I'll leave it up to you to form your own opinions...

Or maybe they're just trying to make it safely home after a hard day's work entertaining children and passer's by?

And to end our short sojourn into the WTF realm....this is not a mystery wtf, it's not creepy, it's not weird, really, or even a little bit odd...this is merely....


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